Oh Baby

Yesterday was Mother's Day. Pam spent time with Jack playing in his room and at the park. They really like each other. Pam is a great mother and Jack is a wonderful boy. Two things happened related to mother's day and I'm concerned about both. First, Pam told me she would like to have another child. Second, Pam called her mother, Becky.

When I met Pam, I was 46 years old with four daughters. This was in the summer of 1994. Pam had recently graduated from University of Illinois. She told me then that she did not want to have children. She saw children as "getting in the way" of having an interesting life. That was Ok with me. I had four girls and they were each wonderful, but yes, they can spend money and take up your time. I was looking forward to semi retirement and spending time riding the motorcycle, skiing and traveling. I had raised four children and felt fulfilled.

Later, after 9/11 and while on Vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Pam said she wanted a child. We did the math and it seemed clear that I would die and Pam would be alone and 60. She felt like she wanted a "family" of her own. So, we had Jack. Jack is the son I never had, and the boy who is expected to grow up and care for his mother after I am gone.

Now I'm 62. Pam will be 39 and Jack will be 5 this fall. I am past semi retired and heading into full on retirement. A new Baby would be 20 when I'm 83, if I live so long. I'm not Larry King or Donald Trump. I have five children and a wonderful wife. I don't really need more work or additional expense. I have a dozen good books I would like to read and there is that motorcycle sitting in the garage. Please call Pam and tell her this is crazy. We really do not need another child. We are too old and too lazy to start over. I love Pam and want her to be happy but this is a bad idea.

Speaking of bad ideas, Pam called Becky. I did not know she planned to call. I think any contact with Becky is like touching the ebola virus. Since last Thanksgiving, I have been happy not to talk with or visit Becky. In my view Becky is a gossip who discusses family members who are not present, in an effort to make herself look good. I prefer we never see them or speak to them again. Pam wanted to "do the right thing" and call Becky on Mother's Day. I believed it was unnecessary since Becky is a very poor excuse for a mother, and may not qualify for Mother's Day.

Strange, Pam is a great mother and wants more children. Where could she have learned about being a mother? Clearly, not at home growing up.