I have to start out by saying, I cried like a baby. I was at work and had to go to the men's room and get control of myself. I have waited 30 years for this news.
1966 was a very long time ago. Connie and Dave lived in suburban Chicago. They were seniors in high school. It was a typical teenage 60s high school story. Connie's parents were weird. Her mom was crazy, and her dad was a fireman who worked odd hours. Dave's mom was a little more eccentric, and his brother was gay. Dave and Connie were in love and in 1966 Connie was pregnant.
Their parents understood and Connie dropped out of high school short of graduation to go away to have the baby. It was a girl, and she "gave it up" for adoption. This would be the end of another typical high school romance but for one thing; Connie got pregnant a second time.
So, Connie and Dave got married. They were way too young and they got married for all the wrong reasons. Connie did not finish high school and Dave worked to support her and their new baby, Jennifer. It was tough being young, poor, and having a new family. Still, they thought they were doing the right thing.
In 1972 they went on vacation to Colorado and the next year they moved to Denver. Dave got a job with a linen company and Connie worked at Target. Things were still rough. Money was short and both Dave and Connie felt trapped. Jennifer spent far too much time alone, at babysitters, or unsupervised. Finally, in 1973 Dave and Connie separated.
I met Connie at Target. My own marriage was not going well. We went out and had fun, laughed, and for a few hours forgot about our problems. Connie told me the story about her and Dave, and how Jennifer had an older sister. The daughter she "gave up", Jennifer's "Big Sister".
Over the next ten years I helped raise Jennifer. She never really saw me as her Dad. Dave was her Dad and she loved to go visit. He had all the cool new stuff. I taught Jennifer to tuck point, took her to get her jaw fixed, and explained birth control. I sent her to Computer Camp to learn how to use a PC. I leased her a new car. I took her to Wally World and moved her to College. Over that time we often talked about her Big Sister. Connie was tormented by the past and wanted closure.
Connie and I separated. We were great friends but poor spouses. Jennifer lived with me until she graduated College and got married. The issue of her Big Sister was never resolved. Connie called in 1985, I think, to tell me she had begun the process of trying to get in touch with her daughter. The one she "gave up". She had notified the agency that she would accept communication from her daughter. Time passed. Then I heard that Connie had gotten a letter. her daughter was fine, but wanted to remain private. We all understood.
Until today. Jennifer called me to say her Big Sister....Odessa, had contacted Connie and would be interested in communicating. Wow! It has been 41 years since Connie and Odessa last saw each other. No promises. Who knows what will happen..............Happy Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Too bitter?
Pam says I am too bitter. No, she did not say bitter....let me think ...she said "your blog is too ....harsh? vicious? no, vitriolic" I forget. But I think she is saying I am too negative about the things I write.
I don't think I am negative or bitter. I don't get too many comments back so it is hard to tell. Roger did email me about my views on the god-myth. I respect Roger and his opinion. He may be right. [doubt it] I guess something has to be important before I write about it. There are lots of things that happen that I just skip. My motorcycle needs washing...but I don't think it is important enough to write about.
There are things that happen that are wonderful. I wrote about the fire and how our home was saved. I was very happy and impressed with the fire department. I have explained how I feel about illegal immigrants. That reminds me of the joke about the married couple from Arkansas who move to Missouri....it's a legal question. Are they still cousins after they cross state lines? Anyway, I like immigrants and think they make the country stronger, just as the Irish, Germans, and Italians did a century ago. I don't think that is negative. I also have a strong positive attitude about humanity. We have faced some tough stuff over the last 10,000 years. War, plague, and christianity did not stop us. My guess is we will go on and beat global warming and terrorism.
The big positives in my life are my wife and kids. I love them and I am really proud of them. Pam has done very well from our first meeting at the Onion to her sale today to Sysco San Francisco. "At a girl", as a drunken Scotsman would say. Jennifer has a new job and her hands full with four kids. Kate is a great mother and she has two wonderful children. Meredith is off to San Francisco. She has a job and she is getting good grades. Colleen has two jobs and goes to College. Jack is becoming a "buster"....stop it Daddy be nice. If I have'nt said it, I am very proud of my family and they make me happy, each in a different way.
So, if I sound negative or vitriolic [you can look that up] it is only because I haven't been writing about the good things as much as I should. I will work on that. Send me your comments. You too Cody.
I don't think I am negative or bitter. I don't get too many comments back so it is hard to tell. Roger did email me about my views on the god-myth. I respect Roger and his opinion. He may be right. [doubt it] I guess something has to be important before I write about it. There are lots of things that happen that I just skip. My motorcycle needs washing...but I don't think it is important enough to write about.
There are things that happen that are wonderful. I wrote about the fire and how our home was saved. I was very happy and impressed with the fire department. I have explained how I feel about illegal immigrants. That reminds me of the joke about the married couple from Arkansas who move to Missouri....it's a legal question. Are they still cousins after they cross state lines? Anyway, I like immigrants and think they make the country stronger, just as the Irish, Germans, and Italians did a century ago. I don't think that is negative. I also have a strong positive attitude about humanity. We have faced some tough stuff over the last 10,000 years. War, plague, and christianity did not stop us. My guess is we will go on and beat global warming and terrorism.
The big positives in my life are my wife and kids. I love them and I am really proud of them. Pam has done very well from our first meeting at the Onion to her sale today to Sysco San Francisco. "At a girl", as a drunken Scotsman would say. Jennifer has a new job and her hands full with four kids. Kate is a great mother and she has two wonderful children. Meredith is off to San Francisco. She has a job and she is getting good grades. Colleen has two jobs and goes to College. Jack is becoming a "buster"....stop it Daddy be nice. If I have'nt said it, I am very proud of my family and they make me happy, each in a different way.
So, if I sound negative or vitriolic [you can look that up] it is only because I haven't been writing about the good things as much as I should. I will work on that. Send me your comments. You too Cody.
Free our Park
About eight months ago we bought a new condo. At the time it was a drawing and the lot was full of weeds. Across from the lot was a new Park. It wasn't quite finished so it had a fence around it while they work on the landscape.
Over the last eight months we went to look at our new Condo during construction. We went almost every week. We drove by the Park over 25 times during thee visits. As near as I could tell, nothing was being done to finish the Park.
In October we finally moved to our new condo. Jack wanted to go play at the park, but the fence was still up. Checking, we were told the Park had been vandalized and was being repaired. The fence would come down soon. A week ago, the fence was down and we took Jack to play in HIS PARK. he was very excited.
The next day....the fence was back up. I began calling trying to find out what was going on. As near as I can tell, the Park was completed too soon. It was vandalized or so they say, and then repaired. The Park is owned by the Irvine Company not our community. The Irvine Company won't let kids play there because it is not insured for play. The community assoication doesn't have the money to pay for upkeep on the park because the construction is not finished near by and taxes have to be paid by home owners to pay for the Park.
So the Park is captive. It makes no sense to have a Park with a fence around it.
Over the last eight months we went to look at our new Condo during construction. We went almost every week. We drove by the Park over 25 times during thee visits. As near as I could tell, nothing was being done to finish the Park.
In October we finally moved to our new condo. Jack wanted to go play at the park, but the fence was still up. Checking, we were told the Park had been vandalized and was being repaired. The fence would come down soon. A week ago, the fence was down and we took Jack to play in HIS PARK. he was very excited.
The next day....the fence was back up. I began calling trying to find out what was going on. As near as I can tell, the Park was completed too soon. It was vandalized or so they say, and then repaired. The Park is owned by the Irvine Company not our community. The Irvine Company won't let kids play there because it is not insured for play. The community assoication doesn't have the money to pay for upkeep on the park because the construction is not finished near by and taxes have to be paid by home owners to pay for the Park.
So the Park is captive. It makes no sense to have a Park with a fence around it.
Stop it Daddy......be nice
Somebody must have told Jack, my son, that he wasn't being nice. He suffers from the same behavior as his father and sisters. Now his new favorite phase is to tell me to be nice. Shouldn't we all be nice? Wouldn't it be nice, if everyone was nice? So what's the problem? I think I am nice. At least I try real hard to be nice.
I'm caught in a balance between being nice and getting what I want and need for myself and my family. I learned a long time ago that I have a very aggressive personality. I come from a tough family who grew up poor and only survived because they refused to take crap. As a kid my Dad could not find a job. During Prohibition, he and his brothers rode "shotgun" on liquor trucks from Chicago to East St. Louis. It really was "shot gun".... not across from the driver. When World War two came, he was drafted to go kill Japanese. I asked once if he was scared. He said, "yes, we took a ship across the pacific ocean to land on Okinawa....and I couldn't swim." My Dad was a Drill Sargent and one of the toughest guys who ever lived. My mother was just a little tougher. When she died, we found $80,000 in cash and two loaded handguns in her dresser. She was always prepared. One of her favorite sayings was to ask "who's ass do I have to kiss to get what I want?"
I've made some mistakes. As a Boy Scout I stabbed the Assistant Scout Master for beating up another kid. The Boy Scouts said that wasn't nice. My friend, Tim, thought it was nice that I defended him. Another kid, on another day, took our football while we were playing. That led to a fight. I choked him unconscious and the Nuns said I wasn't nice. I did get the football back.
I've had bosses who thought I wasn't nice because I stood up for myself and my employees. When I have been lied to, I have made it clear how unhappy I was. I may have threatened to kill people at work two or three times. I was told I wasn't nice for telling coworkers I would kill them. Still, it did get results. I have had ex-wives and girl friends who said I wasn't nice. They forget to say that I left them.....they did not leave me. If I am so bad.....why did they want to be with me?
I have never really cared about winning the "homecoming queen contest". I realize my style is not popular. I can live with it. I think I am complex and not easily understood. I'm nice when people care about me and work with me. I don't like to be treated badly, lied to, or insulted. I can and will defend myself, my family, friends, and stray dogs from abuse.
Over the last 10 years I have worked to be nicer. I love my children and Pam. I want them to be happy and I try really hard to be nice to them. They are not always nice to me. The biggest issue has been mobile phones. I have bought and paid cell phone bills. Still it is almost impossible to call my children and have them answer. It is frustrating.
There is something inside me that makes me feel the way I feel. I'm sure Kate, Meredith, Colleen, and Jack understand. They feel it too and do not know what to do to solve it. We have an internal compass that points to the right thing to do. When we, or those we care about, are offended, we respond. We can not help ourselves. The response can lead to escalated aggressive behavior. Some times this isn't nice. I does get results.
So, I am trying to be nice. I want to get along. As I get older it has been more difficult. A couple of years ago I was at the mall trying to Park. I waited for a car to pull out, only to have a kid cut in front of me to take the parking spot. When he got out of the car I told him he should be more careful. Stealing parking spots might get him hurt. He told me, "IF you weren't such and old guy, I would kick your ass." I got out of the car and told him, "It's OK, I don't mind" He locked himself in his car and called 911. I told him I would wait for the police to come and see who they believe....a punk ass kid or an "old guy". He drove off and I got the spot. That was NICE.
I'm caught in a balance between being nice and getting what I want and need for myself and my family. I learned a long time ago that I have a very aggressive personality. I come from a tough family who grew up poor and only survived because they refused to take crap. As a kid my Dad could not find a job. During Prohibition, he and his brothers rode "shotgun" on liquor trucks from Chicago to East St. Louis. It really was "shot gun".... not across from the driver. When World War two came, he was drafted to go kill Japanese. I asked once if he was scared. He said, "yes, we took a ship across the pacific ocean to land on Okinawa....and I couldn't swim." My Dad was a Drill Sargent and one of the toughest guys who ever lived. My mother was just a little tougher. When she died, we found $80,000 in cash and two loaded handguns in her dresser. She was always prepared. One of her favorite sayings was to ask "who's ass do I have to kiss to get what I want?"
I've made some mistakes. As a Boy Scout I stabbed the Assistant Scout Master for beating up another kid. The Boy Scouts said that wasn't nice. My friend, Tim, thought it was nice that I defended him. Another kid, on another day, took our football while we were playing. That led to a fight. I choked him unconscious and the Nuns said I wasn't nice. I did get the football back.
I've had bosses who thought I wasn't nice because I stood up for myself and my employees. When I have been lied to, I have made it clear how unhappy I was. I may have threatened to kill people at work two or three times. I was told I wasn't nice for telling coworkers I would kill them. Still, it did get results. I have had ex-wives and girl friends who said I wasn't nice. They forget to say that I left them.....they did not leave me. If I am so bad.....why did they want to be with me?
I have never really cared about winning the "homecoming queen contest". I realize my style is not popular. I can live with it. I think I am complex and not easily understood. I'm nice when people care about me and work with me. I don't like to be treated badly, lied to, or insulted. I can and will defend myself, my family, friends, and stray dogs from abuse.
Over the last 10 years I have worked to be nicer. I love my children and Pam. I want them to be happy and I try really hard to be nice to them. They are not always nice to me. The biggest issue has been mobile phones. I have bought and paid cell phone bills. Still it is almost impossible to call my children and have them answer. It is frustrating.
There is something inside me that makes me feel the way I feel. I'm sure Kate, Meredith, Colleen, and Jack understand. They feel it too and do not know what to do to solve it. We have an internal compass that points to the right thing to do. When we, or those we care about, are offended, we respond. We can not help ourselves. The response can lead to escalated aggressive behavior. Some times this isn't nice. I does get results.
So, I am trying to be nice. I want to get along. As I get older it has been more difficult. A couple of years ago I was at the mall trying to Park. I waited for a car to pull out, only to have a kid cut in front of me to take the parking spot. When he got out of the car I told him he should be more careful. Stealing parking spots might get him hurt. He told me, "IF you weren't such and old guy, I would kick your ass." I got out of the car and told him, "It's OK, I don't mind" He locked himself in his car and called 911. I told him I would wait for the police to come and see who they believe....a punk ass kid or an "old guy". He drove off and I got the spot. That was NICE.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Facism - The anti terror result
Think about this definition from Wikipedia.
"Fascism is an authoritarian political ideology that considers individual and other societal interests subordinate to the interests of the state."
This is a political movement that does not care about individual freedom. At it's heart, it says the Country is more important then the person. I say bull shit!
Today I read about the new Anti Terror rules for the United Kingdom [England for those of you who are confused by Europe]. The UK has decided to impose tighter anti terror tactics prior to Holiday Shopping. Here is just a part of the new rules:
"Additional screening" of baggage and passenger searches were planned at some large railway stations and other "sensitive locations". Guidance would be sent to thousands of cinemas, theatres, restaurants, hotels, sporting venues and commercial centres, as well as all hospitals, schools and places of worship to advise them on how to keep visitors safe against terrorism.
What this says is the UK will begin searching people at train stations, movie theatres, and restaurants. The plan to issue rules to keep visitors safe....even if it means long lines and unnecessary searches.
How many times have you seen the TV news guys at LAX saying the lines were too long and they interview some dumb shit who says.." well, if it keeps us safe, I guess it is worth it." Bull Shit. Do you want to wait in line at the movies to be screened? I don't and I think we are doing just what the Terrorist want. The want us to impose stupid "anti-terror" rules that create a Fascist society and reduce personal freedom.
Each of you need to speak out against this government move to impose more and more searches. Terrorist can not allow us to give up our personal freedom so easily. We all know who these terrorist are. They are not 18 year old white girls from the OC. They aren't 60 year white guys like me. Searching us is just pointless and Fascist.
Nothing will be done to stop this silly crap until everyone says.....Get the fuck away from me! Stand up for yourself and do not allow this fascist anti terror plan to come to America. Here is a link to the BBC site with the UK Plan: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7093752.stm
"Fascism is an authoritarian political ideology that considers individual and other societal interests subordinate to the interests of the state."
This is a political movement that does not care about individual freedom. At it's heart, it says the Country is more important then the person. I say bull shit!
Today I read about the new Anti Terror rules for the United Kingdom [England for those of you who are confused by Europe]. The UK has decided to impose tighter anti terror tactics prior to Holiday Shopping. Here is just a part of the new rules:
"Additional screening" of baggage and passenger searches were planned at some large railway stations and other "sensitive locations". Guidance would be sent to thousands of cinemas, theatres, restaurants, hotels, sporting venues and commercial centres, as well as all hospitals, schools and places of worship to advise them on how to keep visitors safe against terrorism.
What this says is the UK will begin searching people at train stations, movie theatres, and restaurants. The plan to issue rules to keep visitors safe....even if it means long lines and unnecessary searches.
How many times have you seen the TV news guys at LAX saying the lines were too long and they interview some dumb shit who says.." well, if it keeps us safe, I guess it is worth it." Bull Shit. Do you want to wait in line at the movies to be screened? I don't and I think we are doing just what the Terrorist want. The want us to impose stupid "anti-terror" rules that create a Fascist society and reduce personal freedom.
Each of you need to speak out against this government move to impose more and more searches. Terrorist can not allow us to give up our personal freedom so easily. We all know who these terrorist are. They are not 18 year old white girls from the OC. They aren't 60 year white guys like me. Searching us is just pointless and Fascist.
Nothing will be done to stop this silly crap until everyone says.....Get the fuck away from me! Stand up for yourself and do not allow this fascist anti terror plan to come to America. Here is a link to the BBC site with the UK Plan: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7093752.stm
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Save that Confederate Money...The South will raise again
Money is a funny thing. It all started a long time ago with the old "barter" system. I will trade you a cow for your wagon kind of thing. Soon people ran out of stuff to trade that both they, and the other guys wanted. Everyone wanted Gold so they agreed to use Gold and Silver as an exchange currency. Thus...money was born.
People wanted to control money so they started making gold and silver coins. They had pictures of dead guys on them with cool sayings like, "hurry for our side". Some places would only accept coins from one country or state. There was a little confusion over what a coin was worth. The market...our old friend, supply and demand, helped adjust the value and things worked out.
The Beatles said it best..."I read the news today oh boy". Money is in trouble. To be more clear, OUR money is in trouble. The good ol US of A green back is becoming the US Peso. You probably don't pay too much attention to the Euro or the Pound...money from Europe. Well they are kicking the dollar in the ass. When the Euro first started back in 2002 it was worth one US dollar. Today it is worth $1.45 US dollars. In five years the dollar has declined 45% versus the Euro.
OK so what? Who cares about the Euro or Pound? Well, let me "splain it to ya"
Stuff, anything you want or need, comes from someplace. Like Coffee, we don't grow it in America. It comes from Africa and South America to name a few places. Coffee is sold on the world commodity market. Guys who have it want to sell it. People who buy it need money to pay for it. Now here is the tricky part.
If you are selling something do you want to be paid in Dollars or Euros? If they were both worth the same it would not matter much. Back in 2002 people selling stuff took both because they were worth the same. But over the last seven years the Euro has become worth more. So now it takes MORE dollars to buy the same stuff that one dollar bought back then. Today 100 Euros is worth 145 Dollars. More important, if you take Euros, you are almost 100% sure that they will be worth the same a year from now. The dollar is a crap shoot.
All this means is the stuff we buy from other countries is getting more expensive. Things like oil, TVs, cars, cell phones, shoes and shrimp all come from someplace else. The dollar is worth less and falling. Stuff we want is going to cost MUCH MUCH more. And, you will not get a raise to buy this stuff. Oil is up to almost $100 per Barrel. This will mean $4.00 + per gallon Gas. Add the price of gas to the increase in freight. Everything we buy is shipped to us by boat or on a truck. This means everything...yes everything, will cost more by 2008 because the dollar is worth less.
So why is the dollar falling in value? Well, there are two good reasons. First we are spending too much on a WAR in Iraq. A country, like a person can not spend more then they earn. America is over spending like drunken sailors on leave in Vegas. I think the WAR cost a BILLION dollars a month. We are also spending too much on dumb shit stuff like searching old lady's at the airport or on the "War on Drugs". Airport searches and the so called Drug War cost us about 2 million a day. Ya, 750 million dollars a year.
The second reason the dollar is falling is due to the "sub Prime" home loan crisis. People did stupid stuff to borrow money on Homes that were way way too over priced. Then they weren't able to pay the money back. Banks are loosing money and this is hurting the value of real estate and financial corporations. The stock market is a mess and the poor dollar is suffering.
I'm writing all this to tell you it will take 10 years to dig out from under this financial mess. I also think that this is what Al Qaeda planned all along. The best "defeat" for America is economic defeat. We have over spent on a WAR and wasted money at home. Now our money isn't worth shit and we can't buy the things we need. All these things are connected: The WAR, price of gas, falling value of the dollar and your pay check.
Think about this when you vote. We need to stop spending before we go broke.
People wanted to control money so they started making gold and silver coins. They had pictures of dead guys on them with cool sayings like, "hurry for our side". Some places would only accept coins from one country or state. There was a little confusion over what a coin was worth. The market...our old friend, supply and demand, helped adjust the value and things worked out.
The Beatles said it best..."I read the news today oh boy". Money is in trouble. To be more clear, OUR money is in trouble. The good ol US of A green back is becoming the US Peso. You probably don't pay too much attention to the Euro or the Pound...money from Europe. Well they are kicking the dollar in the ass. When the Euro first started back in 2002 it was worth one US dollar. Today it is worth $1.45 US dollars. In five years the dollar has declined 45% versus the Euro.
OK so what? Who cares about the Euro or Pound? Well, let me "splain it to ya"
Stuff, anything you want or need, comes from someplace. Like Coffee, we don't grow it in America. It comes from Africa and South America to name a few places. Coffee is sold on the world commodity market. Guys who have it want to sell it. People who buy it need money to pay for it. Now here is the tricky part.
If you are selling something do you want to be paid in Dollars or Euros? If they were both worth the same it would not matter much. Back in 2002 people selling stuff took both because they were worth the same. But over the last seven years the Euro has become worth more. So now it takes MORE dollars to buy the same stuff that one dollar bought back then. Today 100 Euros is worth 145 Dollars. More important, if you take Euros, you are almost 100% sure that they will be worth the same a year from now. The dollar is a crap shoot.
All this means is the stuff we buy from other countries is getting more expensive. Things like oil, TVs, cars, cell phones, shoes and shrimp all come from someplace else. The dollar is worth less and falling. Stuff we want is going to cost MUCH MUCH more. And, you will not get a raise to buy this stuff. Oil is up to almost $100 per Barrel. This will mean $4.00 + per gallon Gas. Add the price of gas to the increase in freight. Everything we buy is shipped to us by boat or on a truck. This means everything...yes everything, will cost more by 2008 because the dollar is worth less.
So why is the dollar falling in value? Well, there are two good reasons. First we are spending too much on a WAR in Iraq. A country, like a person can not spend more then they earn. America is over spending like drunken sailors on leave in Vegas. I think the WAR cost a BILLION dollars a month. We are also spending too much on dumb shit stuff like searching old lady's at the airport or on the "War on Drugs". Airport searches and the so called Drug War cost us about 2 million a day. Ya, 750 million dollars a year.
The second reason the dollar is falling is due to the "sub Prime" home loan crisis. People did stupid stuff to borrow money on Homes that were way way too over priced. Then they weren't able to pay the money back. Banks are loosing money and this is hurting the value of real estate and financial corporations. The stock market is a mess and the poor dollar is suffering.
I'm writing all this to tell you it will take 10 years to dig out from under this financial mess. I also think that this is what Al Qaeda planned all along. The best "defeat" for America is economic defeat. We have over spent on a WAR and wasted money at home. Now our money isn't worth shit and we can't buy the things we need. All these things are connected: The WAR, price of gas, falling value of the dollar and your pay check.
Think about this when you vote. We need to stop spending before we go broke.
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