Oh no...now what do I do?

Colleen called Sunday evening. I called her back, four calls to her mobile phone and three to her apartment. She called me again today and told me she got a ticket. It's no big deal really, wrong way on a one way street. I've done it. She had a cop follow her, so she got a ticket.

I suggested she go to court. I will go with her and teach her how to "fight the system". I did this with Meredith and everyone needs to learn to defend themselves.

My concern is....with the awful things being said about me.........will this come back to be thrown in my face? I hope not. Colleen has never treated me badly. I told her recently how proud we are of her. She has two jobs and attends college. This is the first ticket she has ever had.

What should a father do? I asked Kelly. Do you think I have been "hard on my daughters?" She laughed at me. Should I yell at them or "ground" them for making simple mistakes? I have never believed in that. Still, maybe I have been too nice a guy. I just don't want to be accused of teaching them the wrong stuff. Like how to beat a ticket.

On the road again......

I'm working in Seattle this week. I had to leave Jack and Pam [Camp Counselor] back in Irvine and fly to Seattle. I hate being away from home. I think it is separation anxiety.

Flew from SNA on Alaska Air......it went ok this time. The flight was on time and they serve Seattle's Best Coffee. It was better then flying Southwest. Not crowded and we arrived early.

Rented a cheap car. It's a crap shoot when you get here. I got a Chevy Cobalt. It doesn't matter what kind of car you rent in Seattle. Everyone drives about 45 miles per hour...even on the freeway. They should rent 10 year old Volvo's, so you would fit in when you get here.

I'm staying downtown at the Sheraton next to the convention center. It's old and smells funny. It's also across the street from the Convention Center.

People Drink here. I'm going to Kell's. It's an old Irish bar and I like to eat dinner sitting at the Bar. Check out Kell's http://www.kellsirish.com/

I wish I was home with Jack, watching baseball.

Dear Meredith

And one last thought............
I am tough. Tougher then you ever realized. I have led a remarkable life. I was trained by tough mean crazy people. You only knew them after they got old. You never saw them in their prime. With their "A" game. Anyway, it takes a lot to hurt me. Julie tried. Kate landed a few good punches. Your in there swinging. Got to give you that. But Meredith, I love you and you can NEVER break that bond. Say what you want. You are part of me. Nothing can change that. Nothing. Nothing...No Nothing.

Meredith . . . an UPDATE

After nearly 50 attempts, Meredith, the "only real adult" [see a recent photo as proof to the right] answered my call. She is "over it". This is her way of saying she does not want to be told to grow up or accept responsibility for her decisions. Meredith prefers to hide from the truth. She says I have "screwed her over" for the last time. It's hard to type this, and not fall off my chair laughing. I asked her what have I done? She quickly jumps to another subject and yells out..."I'm done with you and your wife."

So, Meredith is going to "show" me and NOT take the money from the Loan that she applied for in my name. Damn, that hurts. The good news is I won't have to chase her down over the next 120 months for the repayment. The REAL good news is this has worked out just fine. Meredith is accepting responsibility for herself and her decisions. Even if it means she is blaming me for everything.

I'm still concerned that she is much too volatile. Meredith likes to explode and over react without a complete understanding of the situation. It's sort of like taking your car to a mechanic who only has a hammer. Regardless of the problem, he beats the engine to fix it. Sounds silly doesn't it.

[Scott used to say add oil to fix every problem....remember?]

Well, Meredith has only one solution to her problems. Regardless of the issue or the facts, Meredith explodes, gets mad, swears, makes crazy claims, and over reacts. In cases where it is remotely possible, she blames me, her father, for the problem. As a Psychologist, I think this is learned behavior.

Meredith grew up watching Julie solve problems the same way. I still remember when Julie wanted to buy a sweater and waited in line to check out. It was taking her longer then she liked. After a few minutes, she threw the sweater in the air, swore and stomped out of the store. This should have been a sign for me. I ignored it and married her anyway.

Meredith has seen this same behavior dozens of times. Now she is copying Julie and solving her own problems the same way. Throw the sweater Mere....maybe that will help. You won't have the sweater, but try not to think it through. Or, Swear at somebody. Or, better, blame DAD....Julie has told you for 20 years he is to blame for everything.

That no good asshole, DAD. He gave you your furniture and rented a truck to move you to San Francisco. Then he took you and Shaun to dinner and gave you cash to help you settle in. Worse, he took you to the VW dealer and said "pick the car you want." You picked the white convertible and drove it off the lot. Then, when you hit the guy at school, he fixed the car for you. And, when you hit the police car....that sorry sack of shit for a father,...he fixed it again. Yes...blame DAD. He deserves it for all these awful things he did over the years. Like the time he took you and your limp ass boy friend Scott skiing. Rented you equipment, bought lift tickets, and you guys sat in the lodge all day drinking coffee. Turns out Scott did not know shit about snow boards. Or when you and Scott had a fight and you needed help skipping out on your apartment lease.....who did you call.......sorry ass DAD.

Ya, blame DAD. He hasn't done anything right. I only hope you live long enough to have children who treat you this same way. Oh, and nice photo of you in your underwear, on the floor, chugging vodka.....real adult...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Julie should be proud.

Meredith wins the Oscar...as Drama Queen

So last month I wrote about Meredith's melt down. She got mad because I told her she was a liar. Everyone she knows thinks she is a liar. The most recent Gallop poll ranked her just behind Barrack Obama on lying. Regardless, my job is to be her father. For the last 10 years I have tried to get her to accept responsibility. She prefers to have fun and "no thanks" on responsibility. She has had her share of problems. Running into the police car was just one incident. Return with me now to those thrilling days of shop lifting, skipping on her apartment, speeding tickets, and my all time favorite...caught in a parked car with three under aged boys smoking pot.

The most recent was..... I was at the Dentist office getting my teeth cleaned. We got new dental insurance and it meant finding a new dentist who would accept the insurance. I was very picky. I want a dentist who spoke English. Pam found a guy near our home and I went to check it out. While I was there they asked if anyone else needed an appointment in our family. I called Colleen...but she doesn't "do" answering the phone. Meredith did answer. She has a rule only to answer every 29Th call I make to her and I hit it just right.

Meredith said she wanted an appointment and I asked when. She was coming back to SoCal in August and agreed to 11:00 AM on a Monday after she got back. Well, she never went. Turns out she stayed up drinking until early in the morning and overslept...hung over. The Dentist was pissed and since I made the appointment, he charged me $50.00.

Meredith thinks this is just fine. Here again Daddy comes along trying to help her and she is irresponsible...then it hurts me. Like her parking tickets in San Francisco. She doesn't pay them. I technically own her car because I was stupid enough to sign for it. So, the tickets are sent to me with past due amounts. Again, no problem Meredith...let Dad cover them.

So after Meredith's recent melt down, where she swore at me and blamed me for massive inflation in the third world, bird flu, and alien abduction. She asked me to "CO-Sign" on her student loan. I agreed. Since it was her loan, I wanted her to do the work and get the details. She went to the bank and looked on line. Time ran out and she had to get back to San Francisco. [There was a BIG Concert in Golden Gate Park she just could not miss.] We finished the loan up on the phone with her entering the information for me. She "CO-Signed" for me.

When I asked about the loan a week later. Meredith said everything was fine and the money would be coming. Then I got a Disclosure Notice in the mail. The loan was NOT Meredith's it was MINE. I apparently did not "CO-Sign" for the loan on line. I applied for a loan for myself. The only hang up.....the money was being sent to me.

When I asked Meredith about it. She said this was all my fault. She had to "do the loan this way" because I claim her on my taxes. If I didn't claim her, she could get a loan on her own. Boy, did I fuck up! I gave her money, a car, a mobile phone, furniture, and moved her to San Francisco. Then I really screwed her by claiming her on my own taxes as...a DEPENDENT. Clearly, I am the dumb shit.

My view of this is somewhat different. It looks to me like Meredith signed me up for a loan to get the money sent to her school but did not realize they would forward the money to me.

I tried to discuss this with Meredith's Mother, Julie the Queen of Darkness. It did not go well. In her view...I want to get this right. I am cheating my children out of a college education because I divorced her happy go lucky self, to marry Pam.

Julie called Meredith and they completely agree, I am evil and Pam is to blame. Meredith sent email and swore at me on the phone to make her point clear. I think I get it.

Questions remain. What about the loan money? Meredith won't sign a Promissory Note to repay the money. Julie says she would rather go hungry...which would help her....then let her daughter suffer. She says she will apply for a loan and give the money to Meredith. How does this teach responsibility?