BECKY

I need to explain myself. People will be asking, "Is Pam's husband crazy?" In a general sense, that question remains to be answered, but regarding this situation..., you alone can be my judge.

I see my role to include responsibility for the protection and welfare of my family. Meredith and Colleen always knew I was there if they needed me to step in to defend them. My approach has never been subtle. I tend to speak out to make may point. I do get results.

My role of protector includes defending Pam and Jack from gossip and abuse, even if it comes from Pam's Mom.

For 15 years I have loved Pam Olroyd. We met while working together. I respected her and we agreed on so many things that it became clear that we would be best friends. Her mother, BECKY, did not approve.

As a parent, I would be concerned if my 23 year old daughter came home and said she liked a 45 year old married man. I understand completely how BECKY felt. But, Pam had always been smart. She was the smartest child, valedictorian, and graduated Summa Cum Laude at U of I. As a parent, I would take time to listen and understand before drawing conclusions. My daughter's boyfriends have always been accepted.

It is here, at this point in my relationship with Pam, that the problem began. BECKY either did not trust Pam's judgement Or, as I have come to believe, she did not care. In my view, BECKY only cares about BECKY. She is insecure and gossips to diminish those around her, whom she sees as "rivals." Becky has done this to nearly everyone in the family. She has said things about Bobby and Sarah, DUG's wife and children, her mother and sisters and more. Simply put: BECKY does not want Pam be happy. She was then and is now jealous of her daughter and her accomplishments. This is the core issue that has led to our situation.

Back to our Story.....So, Pam wanted her mother to accept her decision and our relationship. She set up a lunch in which BECKY and I were to meet. Pam and I arrived to meet BECKY and Pam's sister, Emily, at Jalapenos, in Clayton. This was in ...about 1995. It was a disaster.

BECKY and Emily arrived with a chip on their shoulder. I think I said, "It's a nice day." and They said..."Oh, is it?" in a smug, glib way so as to question everything about me. BECKY had made up her mind and Emily, the mental health poster child, agreed.

That was it. NO ACCEPTANCE for Pam. In BECKY'S view I was .....all those awful things she has said over the years. Old, stupid, overconfident, outspoken, brash, egocentric, a slob, drunk, whatever. [One or two may be true but you have to pick the ones you like best.]


Time went by. I accepted a job in LA. The next year Pam moved to LA. Then in 1999 Pam's brother came to visit. DUG was sent on a "mission" by BECKY. He threatened me. At a Bar in Long Beach he told me he would "take me outside and kick my ass". Yes, he was just as stupid as Mom. I told him to sit down and stop yelling. He called me a coward. I told him I would kill him if he continued. He flew home to BECKY to report that I was in fact crazy. Everyone BECKY knew heard DUG's version of the story. I believe I was defending myself and my relationship with Pam. Back to that role of protector.

Pam and I were married in 2002. Emily and DUG refused to attend. Over the last five years Pam and I have tried to reconcile. DUG will not speak to me. Emily acts like the mental patient she hopes to cure. Each visit reopens the same wounds for Pam. She is not accepted by her brother or sister and BECKY is responsible for creating and encouraging this situation.

So why? Why has this gone on? Why has BECKY gossiped about us and created this mess? My only answer is because BECKY wants to diminish and marginalize PAM. BECKY is resentful of Pam's ability and accomplishments. BECKY can not accept Pam as a successful adult women.

Crazy? You tell me. Am I? Go to my BLOG at: http://viewsyoucanuse.blogspot.com/ and leave your comment. There has to be a reason why BECKY has spent 15 years intentionally hurting her daughter by gossiping and being rude. If I am crazy or wrong, please set me straight.

And, DUG, please come back to "kick my ass" when your wet urine stained pants dry.